The Difference Between ASEXUAL, AROMANTIC, and AGENDER

The Difference Between ASEXUAL, AROMANTIC, and AGENDER

Asexual No Sexy Times Please

Aromantic No Lovey Dovey Times Please

AgenderNo Genderamas Please

That’s the basic gist of it.

But it’s actually a tad more complicated than that (believe it or not)! Most things LGBT+ fall on a spectrum; for example, the ace (asexual) spectrum could range from sex-repulsed to totally-comfortable-with-sex and anywhere in between!

First topic to address: The A in LGBTQIA stands for Asexual/Aromantic/Agender, m8. Allies are great, but the whole reason we need allies is because we need representation and equal treatment. Excluding any one of the three A’s from the LGBT+ community is a very Not Cool thing to do, my friends.

Now that that’s out of the way, the second order of business is this: Aromantic people are neither soulless, sociopathic, or lonely. They can love just as well as the rest of us – just not so much in a romantic sense. Platonic love? That’s totally chill! Aromantics just aren’t quite so comfortable with romantic love of any sort.

Note: You don’t have to be asexual to be aromantic. You don’t have to be aromantic to be asexual! I, myself, am both panromantic and asexual, meaning I’m all for romantic love, but The Sex(TM) just isn’t my thing.

Cooler Note: “Asexual” is often shortened to “ace” (pronounced like an “Ace” of cards) as I mentioned earlier, and “aromantic” is often shortened to “aro” (pronounced like the word “arrow”). If you happen to identify as both, I sincerely hope you devote at least a few moments of your life to considering becoming a fantastic archer – I’m sure you could be an aro ace.

Kill me.

Onto our third order of business: Agender is most simply defined as “a lack of gender.” An agender person is not a boy; not a girl; not bigender, and not pangender, and not spiritgender, and not- you get the point. An agender person simply doesn’t find themselves identifying with any gender at all. I, myself, am agender, and I prefer to be referred to with they/them pronouns and choose to physically present myself as androgynously as possible.

That’s certainly not all there is to say about the Three Big A’s, but it’s all I have time to say at the moment. I hope you learned a little bit about this lovely part of our community!

And, before I go: The gender-neutral insult of the day isssss…

“You’re like a car alarm; always annoying and usually wrong.”

Goodbye, my be-ay-yoo-tiful friends!


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